


His Choice

by Gumnut



Category: Thunderbirds
Genre: Angst, Gen, Tissue Warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:35:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26629894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gumnut/pseuds/Gumnut
Summary: Was it worth it?
Comments: 2
Kudos: 30





	His Choice

A still moment.

Cloud sailing slowly across the sky, sunlight and shadows. The flickering sheen of palm fronds gently shaken by the breeze. The clatter of sea air-hardened plant fibres crumpling together and rubbing like the back legs of a cricket.

Birds. So many birds.

At some point in pre-history Tracy Island had risen above the waves and created one of the rare oases of land in a sea of ocean desert and life had taken advantage of it. Birds discovered it and made it their home. Coral colonised it and built the reef his fish brother played in.

Trees, shrubs, ferns, moss, insects, an entire ecosystem unique to the Island had grown.

And eventually it had become his family’s home.

He filtered sand grains through his fingers.

Today had been one of those days where he questioned whether it was worth it.

Of course, it was worth it.

It was his father’s voice in the back of his mind. A familiar timbre and surety.

He had clung to both many times, and they gave reassurance and direction.

But days like today?

They were not enough.

His father wasn’t the one who had to watch a brother fall.

His father wasn’t the one who had to cling to a brother’s hand while he screamed in pain.

His father wasn’t the one who had to face his family with news enough to shatter them.

Was it worth it?

He tried to answer that in the positive but the words crumbled under the weight of anguish.

John had survived.

Barely.

There was a long road ahead and it would be some time before he saw his beloved Thunderbird Five again. He was going to be hell to live with.

A hell that was heaven up against the alternative.

His sigh was like the sound of the world squashing him just a little more.

They followed their father’s dream. It had become their dream.

But at what cost? How much did they have to pay? When did it stop? When was enough enough?

His brothers’ eyes grew wearier every day. Alan, barely into adulthood and already aged by experience. It hurt to watch his spark dim. It hurt to see him struggling with sights and sounds he should have been protected from.

God, he wished he could protect his little brother.

Protect all of them.

The imp in the back of his mind sat down next to his father and smiled. ‘I’m fine, don’t worry.’

He couldn’t help it. He was responsible.

Wiping his hands on his pants, he stood up. His runners were full of gritty sand and the waves mocked him with their regularity.

He rubbed his face, but he couldn’t scrub away the sight of John screaming.

So, he broke into a run.

His feet hit the first of the rocks leading off the beach and he leapt up and back onto the path he had deviated from earlier. Nothing was calming his heart.

The question kept surfacing.

Was it worth it?

His feet pounded amongst the gravel, as regular and as mocking as the waves below.

The view blurred.

God, he was going to stash John on Five and never let him down again.

He would love that.

Something in his heart just hurt.

His feet pounded faster.

His mind’s eye darted over familiar faces. Sadness, fear, Grandma’s tears.

He rubbed his face again and his hand came back wet.

Goddamnit!

Scott staggered to a halt and dropped his hands to his knees, his breath coming in little more than haggard gasps as his head drooped.

Goddamnit.

How could it be possibly worth his brothers’ lives?

A hand touched his back and he flinched away.

But the hand was strong and before he knew it, he was wrapped in even stronger arms, his head drawn to a flannel shoulder, words of reassurance rumbling in his ear.

For a moment, there was just distress and tears.

“He’s going to be okay.” Virgil’s voice was always reassuring. Always there.

Scott pulled away, straightening up and wiping his face. “I know.”

“You did what you had to do.”

“I know.”

His younger brother was staring up at him, worry in his dark eyes. A hand reached up to grip his arm. “You had no choice.”

“I know.” But this time it was hoarse and it hurt so much.

“John wouldn’t have it any other way. Those children owe their lives to your decision.”

“I don’t care.”

“What?” Worry turned to puzzlement.

“Why is John’s life worth less than another.”

“It isn’t. But it is his choice.”

Scott opened his mouth, but his protest died in his throat.

Virgil picked up on it and furthered his point, his remaining hand landing on Scott’s other arm and gripping tight. “It was his choice, Scott. It is John’s life to offer.”

“It was my decision.”

Virgil’s lips thinned. “No. Not really. He would have done it anyway.”

The image of his brother screaming taunted him again. So much pain.

And he had given his permission.

But John would have done it anyway.

Hell, Scott would have done it, if he had had the chance.

Anything to protect his brother.

To save those children’s lives.

Virgil drew him into a hug again and Scott wasn’t sure if it was for him or for Virgil.

Likely both.

Was it worth it?

Children screaming.

John screaming.

He didn’t have an answer anymore.

It just hurt.

-o-o-o-


End file.
